I didn’t wake up one day sober and filled with a sense of peace. I’ve been wandering around this planet for 20 years, and I’ve spent the vast majority of them sabotaging myself compared to the few years I’ve put towards recovery. In the last year though, I’ve found that by actively trying to connect to some power in the Universe that is not me, I’ve come much closer to finding myself than I ever could have dreamed. I’m still learning, and there’s so much to spirituality and recovery that I haven’t even begun to tap into, but that’s why I focus on taking things one day at a time. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but as long you continue to pursue it the sky’s the limit, recovery is infinite, and anything is truly possible.
An article in the August 2018 issue of Science of Mind Magazine, written by regular contributors Mark Waldman and Andrew Newberg, showcases the benefits of slowing way down when walking––even creating a meditation out of it. A list of suggested affirmations is provided to say with each step to help slow and center our mind and brain, a departure from the mindless way we typically approach this experience. The authors list ten, and they suggest “for extra credit” that we make up two more of our own to create our personal 12-Step Walking Meditation.
When I was thinking about quitting drinking, no one in my “real life” seemed to get how I was feeling about alcohol. Struggling with your drinking can be a very isolating experience, but seeing your story reflected in someone else’s can be so powerful.
Birthdays in my family growing up were not celebrated in any great ways. We’d get a present but no special treatment, no special dinner, certainly no party, and mostly no cakes, if memory serves. My sister and I validated this years ago, so once we had our own kids, we especially love to celebrate in the rightful manner.
Every control freak moment is actually just my mind going into self-pity mode or self-righteous mode. I notice, ask myself the question, and call the story out. Sometimes the stories will pop back up, but I see through them. They have lost their power. Stressful situations are not about being right or being mistreated—they’re about my choices. No one makes me do anything. So, I don’t have to control anyone. When the stories try to destabilize me, I used to overcompensate by seeking control…
“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake…” ~Henry David Thoreau “The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.” ~Rumi Snooze I’m Lena and I’m a snoozer. And though
As you forgive others, you begin to forgive yourself. As you stop focusing on their mistakes, you will stop punishing yourself for your own. Your ability to release what you think of as the sins of others will free you to release yourself, putting down the weapon with which you punish yourself so savagely. Forgiveness releases the past to divine correction and the future to new possibilities.
It took me many months (way more than a year) to complete the 12 Step process. By now I have done it twice, both times a long haul. But now and even along the way, my path forward noticeably opened up, less tangles. I’m learning how to not let things pile up and create barriers. Like cleaning out the lint trap after every load or so of laundry…