ODAAT – Really

ODAAT – Really

While I have found some amazing and treasured friendships in AA, not every meeting or group has been that way… I want to feel uplifted and empowered after a meeting, not defeated, insecure, and doubtfully questioning myself. In that regard, here’s an important lesson I’ve learned: Take what I can, and let the rest slip away. And try not to be judgmental about it. Some people just do it differently and that doesn’t make theirs bad and mine good. It doesn’t make them wrong and me right…

Everything or Nothing

Everything or Nothing

The Higher Power, Grand Overall Design, How It Works, Thinking Stuff, the Thing Itself… Whatever you want to call it, although I felt suddenly devoid of It these past few days, I realized It’s working perfectly as always. In the absence of feeling great and on top of the world – in fact in the glaring presence of feeling dreadful and lowdown, I know with certainty that I am still connected and I can trust the process. Even in my crankiness and panic.

It’s Not Easy Being Green … Or Is It?

It’s Not Easy Being Green … Or Is It?

Although I love words and respect their power, all this is beyond words. My recovery is beyond words–the depth of the relief and happiness and freedom that comes with it. When I hear others speak of it, I know they lack words too. No problem. Their emotional passion is communicated loud and clear. Recovery, Higher Power, Green… whatever. I will think less and feel more. And continue to stay in conscious contact with It so I can notice it all around me.

‘Til I Reach My Highest Ground

‘Til I Reach My Highest Ground

Balance. Middle Ground. That’s seems almost as elusive as perfection to me, but a much more worthy aim. And the good news is, there’s more of a range to aim for. It’s not an absolute, finite spot to hit or miss. The only absolute I need is that I absolutely may not drink alcohol or do recreational drugs. Ever. And even that’s getting easier to conceive of and accept. I no longer miss those things – even though “one day at a time” does have a nice ring and is a reliable mantra for so much more than addictions. I realize that my “go-to fix” is not anything outside myself anymore.