An Unexpected Birthday Gift

An Unexpected Birthday Gift

A dear friend since middle school relapsed. We’d shared so much, got married, had kids, and divorced around the same time. She moved far away. I got sober. Years later so did she. She relapsed once, twice. Recently she hit a new bottom. But when that bottom hit another bottom, her adult kids (those still speaking to her) joined forces. Filled with anger, disgust, fear, and resentment yet also just enough compassion, love, and caring to literally save her life, they called. Could I help, they wondered? A series of decisions had been made, actions were taken and delegated.

ODAAT – Really

ODAAT – Really

While I have found some amazing and treasured friendships in AA, not every meeting or group has been that way… I want to feel uplifted and empowered after a meeting, not defeated, insecure, and doubtfully questioning myself. In that regard, here’s an important lesson I’ve learned: Take what I can, and let the rest slip away. And try not to be judgmental about it. Some people just do it differently and that doesn’t make theirs bad and mine good. It doesn’t make them wrong and me right…

Everything or Nothing

Everything or Nothing

The Higher Power, Grand Overall Design, How It Works, Thinking Stuff, the Thing Itself… Whatever you want to call it, although I felt suddenly devoid of It these past few days, I realized It’s working perfectly as always. In the absence of feeling great and on top of the world – in fact in the glaring presence of feeling dreadful and lowdown, I know with certainty that I am still connected and I can trust the process. Even in my crankiness and panic.

It’s Not Easy Being Green … Or Is It?

It’s Not Easy Being Green … Or Is It?

Although I love words and respect their power, all this is beyond words. My recovery is beyond words–the depth of the relief and happiness and freedom that comes with it. When I hear others speak of it, I know they lack words too. No problem. Their emotional passion is communicated loud and clear. Recovery, Higher Power, Green… whatever. I will think less and feel more. And continue to stay in conscious contact with It so I can notice it all around me.