“Every incident from my past, every sleepless night, every tear carries me a little closer to fulfilling my soul’s journey.”

~Debbie Ford, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

“In every case pain had been the admission into a new life. We began to fear pain less and desire humility more than ever.”

~Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions



Humbly Stop Being a Jerk

I was rereading the Big Book recently looking for some references, and noticed there are a few points along the 12 step way where the action we are asked to take is done mentally or internally. Things like making or reaffirming a decision, and reconnecting with the higher power nature of the infinite, and with the higher power nature in ourselves.

That’s interesting – I guess alcoholics need that extra reminder to stop and be clear about what we are doing by re-minding ourselves to pause – even when not agitated – but pause and think, reflect, stay tuned in. That’s a big one for me – it’s helpful to slow down and take a breath now and then.

Step 3 and Step 6 come to mind as internal pause opportunities. And well-timed because after each one, major actions takes place. (I’m looking at you Step 4 & 5, and Steps 8, and 9!)

Step 7 actually brings us to the delineated point in the process of the recovery curriculum where we are embarking on the 2nd half of this process. So once we affirmed that, “yup we are entirely ready to step into our greatness and go all the way with this thing,” we do it by aligning our humanness with our spiritual greatness.

We are now ready to work with our infinite nature. This is where we get to start behaving like a grown up in the world. A healthy grown up not an alcoholic one.

We had to be sure first in our minds (Step 6), and then we had to make this divine connection (Step 7) because we are about to revisit our past to clear the way for the future. The inventory of Step 4 asked us to think and write about these people, places, and things. Up ahead is the point where we get ready to address them.

We are releasing our excuses, our shortcomings and joining forces with the power that is always here for us, always wanting to say yes. We are asking ourselves to say yes now too. We are releasing our false bravado and human foibles and affirming and claiming our empowering thoughts and behaviors. Without the outdated learned behaviors to cling to that no longer serve us, we are ready to go forward.

We are becoming fully accountable. We are dropping, the “yeah but” from our vocabulary. We have seen our part in things, and even though we know that others were jerks in the scenario, we only want to work on becoming less of a jerk ourselves, now and going forward. We are humble.

Interesting word, humble… Interesting concept humility… how wonderful to be able to live in that space now. Nothing to prove, to hide from, to deflect. What a relief.

With Science of Mind, I interpret this step as letting my small ego-based self align and connect with my Higher Knowing Self more frequently and for longer periods of time. Higher level thoughts and behaviors happen in my life now.

I absolutely do feel I am gaining admittance to a new life. Being humble and vulnerable enough to let my Higher Power in also allows me to let people in, not just on the surface but to the deep connections I long for.



Can you think of a time you paused and contemplated before barreling forward into action or conversation?  

Do you find you are able to more quickly and easily acknowledge behaviors that limit your full growth and expression?

Are there times when you have been present in a humble manner and found that it worked much better than trying to feign superiority and know-it-all-ness?


In gratitude, harmony, and support,

Humbly Stop Being a Jerk

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