The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.” ~ The Big Book, Chapter 3
“Never limit your view of life by any past experience… It is not a question of failing or succeeding. It is simply a question of sticking to an idea until it becomes a tangible reality… we must look at harmony, happiness… peace and right action, until they appear.” ~ Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind
If I could drink like a normie, I’d drink every day.
That’s a joke. Normies wouldn’t even think to drink every day – they don’t feel the desire, inclination or compulsion to do that. Quite an odd concept to those of us who made The Drink the focal point of every social exchange, event, party, gathering, holiday, meal, task, chore, conversation, etc.
I get that I am wired differently – that once I start with the drink or the drug, the craving kicks in for more and the ability to stop goes away. I am so grateful to know that I can use my thinking to offset the physical and mental obsession that once weighed so heavily on me. We are all wired with the ability to think New Thoughts.
By using affirmations and overall mindfulness to focus on the feelings of serenity, authenticity, health, energy, freedom, love, and the connection that I want to feel, my New Thoughts overlay the old thinking that kept me drinking and feeling down, overwhelmed, less than, and miserable for years.
I think I am also wired to appreciate humor differently. While still in my foggy, funky, boozy first 48-hours-since-my-last-drink phase I attended my second meeting. Unbeknownst to me, it was a birthday meeting. I didn’t know about them then, but have since come to love and seek out those meetings in which people get a cake and a chip to honor and celebrate another milestone of sobriety… most always I get tears in my eyes hearing what it was like for some of these people, what happened, and what it is like for them now. It is not unusual to have 6-month people up there with 6-year people, along with others well into double digit sobriety… amazing.
A lovely woman stood up to receive her 7-year cake at this second meeting of mine. She stood at the front of the room with her husband and twin daughters, maybe 5 years old…. Hoots, hollers, and cheers filled the air before she opened her mouth. She powerfully raised her fist in the air and said, “I’m Jennifer and I’m a black-out puker!”
More whoops and applause and I heard myself laugh out loud, and I felt a big smile take over my face. Something in me opened up at that moment. I didn’t define myself as a black-out puker, but I related to both of those experiences… I knew in a deeper way that, yup I was in the right place. Something in me relaxed and began to accept what I was and what I am and how it could be for me if I stayed in sobriety…
Later on, I relayed her comment to someone, a normie, whose face registered horror as I sensed him recoil. I realized that I am part of a special community that understands things that some people just never will. And lucky them. And lucky us, if we get it and keep coming back to our truth.
We can free ourselves from the bondage of our doubts, fears, and addictions… the bondage of our past.
Does the obsession still strike you?
Do you feel more comfortable with others in recovery or with normies in the mix?
How important is humor to your program?
In gratitude, harmony and support,