“The first great discovery man made was that he could think. This was the day when he first said “I am.” ~Ernest Holmes
“As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of [the] presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.” ~Bill Wilson
Who do you think you are? I heard that a lot growing up. Usually when I was “acting out” or living large in some way unbefitting to a little kid. I don’t recall it having the feeling tone of “I’ll tell you who you are: you are a magnificent being of light with unlimited possibilities!”
I’m sure there were numerous times when I was just being a bratty kid, but that phrase got stuffed into my subconscious, stuck to the negative vibe of “that’s not for you, you’re not that awesome, bold, capable, deserving, etc. Others, yes but not you.”
Someone, a normie, asked me recently “Why did you drink?” I know that’s a reasonable question from someone who does not have to drink once the untreated “disease of more” is triggered and the cravings kick in.
I got to that sad point where I had to drink, regardless of whether or not I actually wanted to. I think it has very much to do with who did I think I was. I thought I was someone who was mostly not good enough and had to keep my shortcomings a secret. I also thought I had to keep my gifts a secret. I had to pretend to be something else, but never quite 100% sure what. The question of who did I think I was never got answered verbally back then, either by myself or by my parent who repeatedly fired that question at me.
Alcohol and social drugs for a time gave me the answer. They tricked me into believing it was through them that I was smart, funny, and likable as long as I stayed high. They also made me forget my doubt that I really was those things.
That concept of alcohol being but a symptom didn’t land until many years later. Turns out that addiction truly is a spiritual disease that requires a spiritual solution as part of the overall recovery process which must also address the physical component.
So NOW who do I think I am? With the help of the 12 step recovery model of AA and learning how to re-pattern old negative and false beliefs through the study of New Thought principles, I KNOW who I am.
I am a spiritual being having a sober human experience. I really am magnificent. I am whole, perfect, and complete with room to grow. I am in the precise place to do so based on the successes, failures, and feedback I have experienced so far. I am willing.
- Who do you think you are?
In gratitude, harmony and support,